Everyone feels guilty from time to time, but lately I have had extremely conflicting feelings. As my son is scheduled for delivery just around the corner, I am feverishly working to get his room ready. While I on remodeling his room, my extremely pregnant wife is left to chase around our 21 month old daughter. Although we do not plan for our son to sleep in his own room at first, I know that I will not be able to work on this project after he is born.
Since I am working on the room directly across the hall from Laura’s room I am restricted to only working on it while she is awake. This is where the conflict of feelings and guilt come from. I am emotionally pulled in two directions. In an effort to be the husband my wife deserves, I need to be in two places at once. I need to both ensure the safety of my daughter, and finish the remodel before the baby is born. I don’t think there is any easy answer to this personal predicament. I just hope that once I can work on a project in the shop where I do not risk waking up a sleeping baby (a.k.a waking a hibernating bear) this feeling of guilt will subside a bit.
Even while I work on a projects in the shop after Laura has gone to bed I still feel a bit of guilt. Guilt that I am not spending kid free time with my wife. Once this time sensitive project is completed I plan to schedule dedicated time to both working in the shop as well as quality family time. Hopefully this will help me be able to have my cake and eat it too.